Creative Calm Connected: Connected ….to my parents

It was Grandparents Day at my son’s school. Grandparents and other special people were invited to share the morning in the classroom and then children from each grade put on a special performance for everyone. My son is in kindergarten and was so proud that his Poppy could come to his school that day.

Watching my son and my Dad working together at his teeny tiny desk made me pause and reflect on how special this day really is. This day and every day. And to celebrate that we have been given this day, a day where we cherish some very important people.

You see, for the past two years, my Dad has bravely and gracefully fought and kicked bowel cancer’s butt. So we know how fragile the beautiful gift of life can be. It is so easy for many people to take life for granted. To carry on with the everyday grind and not realise just how special each day is.

It’s funny how life brings you back to what is most important – if you listen to the whispers in your heart and the universe. Family has always been important to me. I have such fond memories of wonderful Christmases with extended family, of fun family parties with everyone jigsawed into the tiny lounge room to sleep because there weren’t enough beds….. but there was always enough love.

I will never forget when I saw my parents become Grandparents. I was recovering from anaesthetic so didn’t see my Mum’s first cuddle with my son, but I saw my Dad’s. Such tenderness. And that beautiful awkwardness of holding a tiny bundle of new life.

They are amazing parents so I had no doubt that they would flourish in their roles as Grandma and Poppy. And they do. Being grandparents has bought them alive in a brand new way. Their hearts have grown even bigger to make space for enough love for the new little souls who adore them in every way. They are softer, calmer and happier in the presence of their precious grandchildren. I have loved watching them develop relationships with each of my children, seeing new love blossom and grow with each interaction.

As well as being great grandparents, becoming a grandparent has added new dimensions to our relationships as parents and daughter. I feel like we have always been close, but now I GET it. I always knew I was loved, but know I have a deeper appreciation of just how much. That sense of knowing that you would do anything, ANYTHING at all for your children. The kind of love that makes your heart burst open. And now I know, really know, how that love feels, because I too am a parent, I feel so much closer to my Mum and Dad. Because they love me that way too.

Some people might struggle with their parents when they turn into grandparents. I have seen others who have interfering mothers and/or fathers who push their ideas and habits on their children as new parents. My husband and I are so lucky. We hit the jackpot. My parents happily dive in as grandparents whenever they can. They help out often, without question. They don’t often unwanted advice, but are close by with guidance when we choose to seek it. They support us in our decisions on how to parent our children, trying their best to follow our rules and discipline techniques (although I have a sneaking suspicion a little more spoiling goes on than is sanctioned!).

I have never once felt judged by my parents in my parenting. Only ever supported and loved. Perhaps they keep their judgment for when we are not around to hear, which is ok. But I suspect that doesn’t happen. I like to think that they are thinking we are doing a good job. And I’m sure, it is because, we learnt how to be parents from the best ones ever.

I love you Mum and Dad. Thank you for being the best parents and grandparents. I look forward to one day giving my kids the gift that you have given us – to be the best grandparents to their kids they could ever imagine.