First Post Paralysis

It shouldn’t be this hard… just press the publish button!  I have written and rewritten different “first” posts over the last month but have not been able to yet take that step and publish.  Today I sit here once again with what I have termed “first post paralysis” and I’m determined to get this thing started once and for all. 

My beautiful new Kikki K planner stares up at me shouting “Dare to Begin”, and I have Gretchen Rubin’s voice in my head saying 

“don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good”. 

Yet round and round I go again.  I have read books about blogging, connected to fantastic sites that help step you through setting up your blog.  But still, I can’t.  I have played with Blogger, Squarespace and WordPress and have started writing posts to publish once the first one is out of the way.  So what stops me? 

I think, in fact, know, that it is fear.  What if I do it wrong?  What if people never read what I write? Or worse, what if they read it and think it was all a big waste of their time?  What if I put myself out there and people are mean? 

I have always dreamed of being a writer, and lately, while on maternity leave with my second child, I have been having a good honest look at myself trying to work out what I want to do with my life.  I have been reading more, soul searching, looking, and trying to acknowledge that little whisper that is telling me “this is not all there is….. you are more than this”. So here we are, I have decided that I will write. 

I have also decided that I want my life to centre around three core themes, because these words are what work for me, they are how I want to feel every day, they make me sparkle from the inside.  I want to feel CREATIVE, CALM, and CONNECTED. 

Rather than go into too much detail about that today, (because I feel like if I do, I will never hit the “publish” button) I think I will just sit with that for now….. and hope, hope that I fly.